Fighting Over Stupid Things

By Allen J. Huth, President of the Ezra Project |

Judges 12 begins with the men of Ephraim fighting with Jephthah, This seems to be a dumb reason to fight: “You didn’t ask me to fight with you.” “Yes, I did. And you didn’t come so we went alone. And we won.” So two tribes of Israel fight and kill each other, over what?

Let’s focus on this idea about fighting over stupid things. Sometimes my wife and I fight over stupid things. If you are married, surely you do too. Or you fight with your friends or you fight with your employer or your employees or your family or your neighbors over the dumbest things. We can learn from Judges 12, to curb that, to stop fighting over stupid things. 

Rather than fight over stupid things, here are four steps to prevent this from happening in your relationships:

Step 1–Evaluate what you were about to fight over. Is it going to be worth it?

Step 2–If not, disengage. Curb your tongue. Don’t say the next antagonizing comment. Let it go.

Step 3–Walk away. Remove yourself from the situation. Doing so prevents the stupid thing from becoming a bigger thing.

Step 4–Maybe, maybe, even apologize for letting the stupid thing get to you. Say you are sorry rather than get dragged into a fight not worth fighting.

Try these four steps to avoid fighting over stupid things.

Lord, help me not get involved in fighting over stupid things. Help me remember, help me apply these four simple steps: evaluate what I’m going to be fighting over, disengage, walk away, or apologize before the fight ever starts. By doing these things, Lord, I maintain my testimony for You. Help me, Lord, to be more Christ-like with my spouse, with my children, with my family, with my friends, with my colleagues at work, with my neighbors.

You remind us in the Book of James, Lord, that “The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell” (James 3:6). You go on to say that, “No human being can tame the tongue” (James 3:7), but You can help us and we thank You for that. For Your Word says, again in James, “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:10).

Bless me, Lord, and check my spirit the next time I get ready to fight over some stupid things. Prevent it. Help me. In Jesus’ name, amen.